Have you ever caught yourself doing something due to the length of time invested?
That could be not throwing away something you haven’t used for a long time … but you’re keeping it because one day you might, right?
Or maybe it’s not throwing away those pants from 5 years ago because you’ll “get back in them”…
Or what about not ending a friendship that no longer serves you and creates toxic energy…NOPE, You can’t let that go because you’ve been friends since high school.
Well, let me tell you something… TIME MEANS NOTHING.
Ok, Let’s be real for a moment, time does mean something, but ONLY for those that deserve it. A little contradictory, but it’s just facts. Like obviously, I’m going to consider the time I’ve invested if I get into an argument with my best friend or a family member. We’re going to take a moment and reconvene to ultimately save/continue that relationship.
At this moment, however, we’re discussing those who DON’T matter. This topic is brought to you by … my break-up back in March. Yes, I had a boyfriend, and now I don’t – life comes at you fast lol.
I initially began this piece when we broke up, and honestly, I thought about scrapping it since it’s been a min, but it remains relevant so I decided to go with it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about intimate relationships. It can be referenced to platonic, familial, things, etc. But anyway, post my quickly dissolved relationship, if you even want to call it that to be quite honest, I realized, although I already knew to some degree, length of time can literally mean nothing when it’s time to let something or someone GO. I really don’t want to make this about my ex, because… I just don’t care anymore, but I want to reiterate to never stay in something you’re not happy with.
My ex and I have known each other for 6 years or so. Talked before, it fell apart, didn’t speak for a couple years and tried again years later. Before we decided to give it another go, we had developed a pretty great friendship. I mean, we supported one another with our creative work, conversed, laughed, everything was A1. You would think a relationship would be a breeze…
To be completely transparent, that shit sucked lmao. I can laugh about it now, but while I was going through it, it was awful. I was SO CONFUSED as to why it wasn’t working. We knew we wanted to get to this place, had known each other for so long, it just had to work, right?
It didn’t work because the time spent before the relationship didn’t matter. Period. Which let me know it was time to make my exit.
I know it’s hard to leave people alone when all you want is to love them, receive love, and ultimately make shit work, especially if there are years invested, but if you’ve tried and tried and continue to be unhappy, let it go, sis. While my relationship was short-lived, I learned quite a bit about myself. How giving I am, what I like, what I don’t, what I will tolerate, and what I won’t. In the past, Jordan would’ve tried to figure out every tactic to make the shit work, I mean EVERYTHING. To a certain degree, I tried this time too. However, the difference between then and now is I know my worth and what I DESERVE. I deserved more than what I was receiving, and I wasn’t going to waste 3, 6, 9 months trying to get that from someone who wasn’t willing to try to give it to me despite the length of time before the situation. The same goes for platonic relationships as well. Friendships can quickly become one-sided and draining, but it’s up to you to distinguish if that relationship is worth fighting for. I’ve given up friendships too. It’s not fun; the crap hurts just as much as a relationship, but the end goal is happiness, and not being somewhere that does not SERVE YOU will allow you to be that again.
Well, that’s the end folks. If you made it this far, thank you for reading.
Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship despite how long you’ve known each other? How did you determine it was time to exit that situation? Let me know in the comments.